Contemporary short fiction, poetry and more

Monthly Archives: January 2015

Testament Paint Chart

Martin Webster begat the National Front, and the National Front begat John Tyndall, and it came to pass that John Tyndall did leave the National Front, for, while it was verily a place in which the man of Albion did hate and vent his ire towards the man of Egypt, it was also a place in which a man, yea, a man who took an iron razor to all the hairs of his head, even until he bareth the skin, did lie down with another man. And John Tyndall said, I will leave this place, and will begin a new tribe for, verily, this tribe has become a tribe of sodomites. And John Tyndall begat the British National Party. And the British National Party begat Nick Griffin. And it came to pass that Nick Griffin said unto John Tyndall, you leadeth us into deserts wherein we cannot cultivate, and into marshes wherein we cannot graze our flocks, for, verily, you wear the swastika armband, and you wear the leather jackboot, and you ponce about in a manner which bringeth down hatred and scorn upon my brothers (I could not care less about my sisters). And John Tynall said unto Nick Griffin, verily, I need the swastika armband and I need the jackboot. I need these things to show my hatred of the Ethiop and the Egyptian. And Nick Griffin said, yes I get all that, but we need to be more subtle. For, verily, I wear outer garments which are known to our enemies as a suit, and I wear the fibres which come from the place known as Kashmir, which is even a fortress of our enemies. And Nick Griffin did become the father of the British National Party. And it came to pass that John Tyndall died. And it came to pass that Nick Griffin was declared personally bankrupt. And it came to pass that the tribe called the Ukips did come forth. And their leader was Mr Faraaaaahge. And it came to pass that many of those who had followed Martin Webster, and John Tynall, and Nick Griffin, did follow Mr Faraaaaaahge. And Mr Faraaaaaahge thought of this not. And, behold, Dulux did produce a paint chart entitled, “Contemporary British Extreme Right”, and it had four colours. The first colour was Martin Webster. The second colour was John Tyndall. The third colour was Nick Griffin. The fourth colour was Mr Faraaaaaahge. And verily they were all the same.